ok, here goes. this is going to be a very long Rant so best to put on some music or get comfy or something. XD

anyway, ahem.

i have been doing alot of thinking about what has been going on in the past 3 years i've been here on DA along with getting to know many more people even before i came onto DA.

back when i first joined DA, i didn't put anything up cause i didn't know how to but i was still a writing Machine for stories and having fun as much as i could and it was a blast. i did lurk around some website's cause i didn't know what to say half the time or wasn't able to comment on anything since well, there was no comment boxes.

while i was going through site's and enjoying what was on there, i made many friends espically my good friends and

i was able to have alot of fun talking with them and even doing many fun Roleplay's with them. but as thing's moved on some, it was becoming harder and harder to talk with them espically sanone as his art was becoming more and more popular til he had to stop taking request's and hiding his Email and IM's. i was lucky enough to become his best friend too.

it was soon later that i found myself doing my very first story for for his site and working hard on it. but i kept on getting side tracked and soon had to stop completely. but even though i stopped with that, i was soon introduced to thanks to Sanone. me and Twi soon became the fast of friends and talked with him alot as well and even helped him get idea's for his art and witnessed how much his art has improved as well.

however, just as it was with Sanone, Twi soon had to many lurker's and newbies on DA asking for free Request's and what they wanted without nothing in return. it has been happening to everyone lately and not just them.

my friend's and were basically doing the same thing since they were getting annoyed with lurkers for free requests.

i myself have started to become lazy and barely getting any time or motivation to do my writing as it makes it hard for me to keep up with everything i have promised and soon found myself started to drift from some of my friends even when my MSN went down for a long while. those who i found out i was drifted away from was and

i was good friends with them. but i also had became friends with other's such as and and many more. but it was also at the same time i found myself becoming more lazier and less creative and writing.

i have been doing many journal's and alot of them being Emo one's which probably drove alot of my friends away which i highly regret now but i am still doing my best.

it is also becoming harder to keep a promise to my little brother who passed away 5 years ago but soon found myself dealing with many family problems and hardship's with my friends.

i can not name all my friends who i know on DA since i'd probably be really tired just doing that. lol. XD sorry.

but i know that i will still be their friends even if they are very busy with their own problems and stuff.

i have begun to do some practice art of my own but so far to no avail of showing improvement.

many stories i have done are ok but many of the people i watch and some of the one's who watch me back, aren't much for reading which put's me in a pickle. even though i have found out that alot of the people i watch aren't watching me back for some unknown reason.

i am here on DA to help other's, have fun, and get to know the artist's who draw their art. not just ask for drawings or stuff like that. i am someone who actually cares. unlike alot of the lurkers here on DA which really shouldn't even be doing that.

but i too have found myself to be a bit of a lurker lately since i haven't commented on any of the art and stories i see/read and begin to feel like i'm becoming one of the lurker's that many people don't like.

however i won't let that stop me. i will get my motivation back up and comment left and right on alot of art and writing and other things that should get commented even if i'm the only one.

sure i might not get any comment's or barely any myself but i won't let anyone else feel like their art and hardwork all be for not!

i put the needs of other's before myself no matter what happen's.

lately i have found myself with a surprise though. with all that has been going on, it feels as if i have been forgotten by time and feel like it's still 3 years ago when everyone i knew and know were having alot of fun and drawing what they wanted or write what they like without being hassled but i know that isn't true as the past is now gone and the present is tough.

many great artist's and some of my friends have chosen to either stay invisible on their IM's, not be on at all, or avoid it all together from all that has happened.

but now i will do what i should have done and get my fat ass in gear and get going on all my work that i SHOULD have finished long ago. even if i'm alone doing it, even if i unable to talk with anyone over the IM's, even if i push myself far past my limit, i will continue my work and comment on all my friends work's as well.

it is the least i can do.

thank you all for listening to my very first long Rant. just a normal talking journal too. XD no emo-ness around here.

thank you once again. have a great time whereever you are or what ever you are doing.